Strictly Serious: xXx Return of Xander Cage Movie Review

If you wanna enjoy this movie, be careful to leave your brains behind. This is exactly what Vin Diesel and the assorted crowd of distressing damsels do in the movie.

The movie features a pandora’s box, which actually is a box of troubles that Vin Diesel has to stop from going to the baddies. If he doesn’t do that, the moon slaps the sun on its buttocks or some stuff like that.

Dont fool around,Hubby Xander, Come back to the cage!

In doing so, he runs the risk of catching the HIV virus, while trying to save the planet. This is exactly the way the film goes – high risk behavior on the loose and Bill Gates would not be impressed with the way things go.

While he tries to save the planet ably assisted by a handpicked bunch including a joke…oops Disc Jockey!, Vin tries in vain to sound serious. And the Jockey saves his life with a certain piece of music.

This actually happens, trust me, this ain’t no darned joke. Equally as much, the same music may actually shorten your life span, so you are free to choose whose life you want to save.

BAD GUY DOES BEST

The baddy, played by Donnie Yen is infinitely better than the hero in the martial art sequences, so one really wishes that it was the other way round.

Weird gets weirder as the film chugs with poor editing, Amrikan style. There are talented fighters like Tony Jaa who could have put to better use kicking Vin Diesel’s butt, but alas, that did not happen.

BHARTIYA NARI

But our very, very Desi Cowgirl, Deepika Padukone provides a provides love and fresh air as she chases the hero with an authentic Indian accent. She manages to impress in her significant share of screen space. Deepika and Donnie Yen make the film somewhat survivable, but of course, nothing is guaranteed.

GREAT STUNTS, CINEMATOGRAPHY etc

Despite the plot, you can see the movie for the stunts, the photography, the chases and stuff. You may find it funny, but if you don’t take it to heart and decide to enjoy the fun, you will still not come back with anything worth remembering. Better to stay at home and watch anything out of the Mission Impossible series, pirated or otherwise! Amen!

FINAL VERDICT

If you blow your money to see it, wear a helmet to save your brains from getting blown up. Jokes apart, if you have nothing better to do, you can go and see that even Deepika has nothing better to do! Deepika, your talent in Indian movies is moving, but please be more careful in script selection next time you go to Hollywood!